Or maybe I would just use my middle name instead. If my name was Barnaby, I’d go by Barnaby. But who would choose to go by that name? If my name was Bernard, I would go by Bernard. Maybe he is a perfectly good massage therapist. I imagine he has terrible pepperoni breath that I won’t be able to escape from during the massage, and I imagine beads of sweat forming as he works on me, dripping down his nose and onto my neck. A first name flashes on the screen, and I get a look on my face like I just took a sip of curdled milk.īernie? Do I want to get a massage from a guy named Bernie? I picture an overweight moustached man with an extra chin. I’m sure there are more students, but in this case there must be only one male working at the time I am getting the massage. So I select the male therapist button, and the prompt instructs me to choose the therapist I want from the following selections.
If I’m going in, I want to feel the work being done, and I definitely prefer the stronger touch. Regardless, I also tend to prefer male massage therapists because they have a stronger touch, a deeper pressure, when doing the massage. Come to think of it, male massage therapists have a rough gig-are gay guys really the only ones who seek them out? Hm. Women, be they gay or straight, likely prefer female therapists. And, men being men, we generally want the most attractive person to be the one touching us. In a similar vein, I would rather be touched by a guy. (The exception being, perhaps, a straight guy who is married to a woman who doesn’t want another woman touching her husband these straight guys likely just avoid massages). Most straight guys I know would prefer a female massage therapist-if a straight guy is going to be touched by someone, they don’t want it to be a dude! Gross! They’d prefer an attractive female. Now it has nothing to do with being gay, but I have always preferred male massage therapists. “Yes! My forearms are saved!”I click deep tissue, then another drop down box has me answer ‘With Whom’ I want the massage, a male therapist, a female therapist, or anyone? “Another Thai Yoga! That’s my third one this week! Why don’t I ever get a Craniosacral?” The red light clicks on again, “Jordan, a Lomi Lomi in Room 12.” Jordan enthusiastically fist bumps his neighbor. A red light clicks on as the principal calls out, “Jennifer, you have a Thai Yoga waiting in room 2.” Jennifer rolls her eyes. Were these people really trained in all of these various styles? I pictured a group of students sitting in the backroom acting bored as they waited to get their certification hours filled. Swedish? Craniosacral? Deep Tissue? Hot Stone? Japanese Shiatsu? Lomi Lomi? Lymphatic? Mineral Foot, back and Reflex Scrub? PEDI massage? Prenatal massage? Thai Yoga massage? The comprehensive drop down menu had different time increments on these as well as a choice between a student and a licensed therapist, all with various prices associated.Ĭhoosing a style from the lest felt vaguely like taking a multiple choice test. Then a long list of styles of massage popped down and I had to select the type I wanted.
The first box asked ‘How many guests?’ and I clicked the ‘Just Me’ link, then I selected ‘Massage’ from the drop down list of services that also included Facials, Body Services, and Hydrotherapy. I jumped on my laptop, found the school’s website, and clicked the link that instructed me to book online. I had heard about a local massage school that was easy to schedule with at the last minute, and had heard that it was affordable, so I thought why not.
I had a few free hours and my shoulders were sore.